Momma on Drugs

     Just a little funny for you all.  No political agenda, no idea that had to be drained from my brain.  Just a purely fun story about myself transcribed from my daughter's iPhone notes.

     Let me preface this by saying I am a person who knows herself pretty well.  I pride myself on how I analyze my actions and my health in order to better understand me, and then how to change what needs to be changed to make myself a better person.  Having said that, the following goes to show I am not on top of it as much as I thought.... ahem... and the mayhem begins.

     I recently had another oral surgery.  When they knock you out you have no memory of falling asleep, waking up, talking to the Dr. nor going home!  I swore (of course), that I would absolutely have complete control of myself and of my brain.  Many many hours later I awoke only to find that some of my dreams were reality, and my reality was skewed.  I said a few bad things, but I did have some control over myself in public even though I was not aware that I was not aware!  The rest will be told from my daughter's point of view.


    Hey all. Like Mom said, usually she has a pretty good grasp on her self awareness. So the few times she does get a bit 'loopy', my dad and I love to tease her about it. I suppose us teasing her last time is what prompted her to pay extra attention to how she behaved this time... and that's what made her behavior so funny.

    When I came into the recovery room to see how Mom was doing post-op, she had her shirt on, albeit askew, and her zip up sweater half way on (and inside out.)  So without hesitation, as she was spinning and trying to put her sweater on, I took it off of her, put it on the right way and helped her sit on the edge of the bed. The nurse informed me we'd have to wait for the doctor and she'd be back shortly. It wasn't until we were alone that Mom finally noticed I was there.
She smiled at me then started just poking her lip. Here are just a few things she said:

"This lip isn't mine..." (resulting in me just staring at her)

"It's not mine."
"It's a gummy worm."
"It's a gummy bear!" (pokes it some more)
"Come here.. come here!!" at this point, I go over to her and she quickly grabs my finger and starts poking her lip with my finger. "Look. SEE? You can't feel it! It's not mine! You can't feel it!"

I just stifled my laughter and nodded.
I sat back down and she kept poking away.

After a bit she points to an empty spot on the bed beside her.
"Was Michael just here?"
"No, Mom."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah, he's at school, remember?"
"...oh." *pokes lip more*

After poking her lip some more, she....well... she tried to say "I'm not as think as you loopy I am." (To be funny.)

What she actually said was, "See? I'm not as sagrghlkfsadfkjagar I am.... I'm trying to be clever.   I'm not as sdlgkhajksdfksg I am...

...nope."

At this point, I lost it. But it gets better.

She then got up and walked across the small room to poke at her/not her lip in the mirror. Seconds after she satisfied her urge to poke and sat back on the bed, she got up to go look in the mirror again... and again... aaaaand again.

During the last visit to the mirror (last time for a few minutes, anyway) she huffs and says "That's not mine!" and flops on the bed like a mad little kid.


At this point, I can only assume she happened to notice her clothing was...ya know...on; and she says "SEE??? I put on my own shirt and on and I remember everything. You can't find me funny loopy things now."


You can't find...me funny...loopy...things...now..

Yep...

And to make it even better, what did she say literally 10 seconds later?
"...when did I put my sweater on? I don't remember putting my coat and sweater on? Have we been here long?"

And cue her getting up 3 more times in a row to poke her lip in the mirror and indignantly state that it is, of course, not hers.

Now, I have to add here, that before she left, the nurse gave us a small bag of goodies for Mom to take home. Before her fourth trip (this time around) to the mirror, she noticed the baggie and looked inside. She was like a little kid on Christmas opening their stocking. "OooOoOOOoooh! I have a tiny toofpaste for my widdle mouf, and a new toofie brush!"
She then visited the mirror, and on her way back to the bed she spotted the baggie where she had just left it in my lap moments before. "OOh! Is that mine? Let me see! OooOoOOOoooh! I have a tiny toofpaste for my widdle mouf, and a new toofie brush!"

I shouldn't have said anything, but at this point, I couldn't help it. I said, "Mom... you already looked through that like 30 seconds ago."  Now here is where I have to give her props. She must have realized something was off, because she immediately defended her loopy self with "So?...maaaaaybe I just wanted to look through it twice!"  (this is her EXACT face)

Whatever you say, Momma... whatever you say. lol

Three different times throughout our wait, she mentioned getting food too. So I promised her we would on the way home...three times.


The rest of the wait for the doc was spent with her snoozing on the bed and me jotting down what she said. At one point between naps she asked "Who are you texting?" I just flat out told her, "I'm writing down everything funny you say because if I tell you later, you aren't going to believe me."

As soon as we get in the car, Mom, of course, discovers the mirror.. and she proceeds to spend about 3 solid minutes doing this:

Now I have to warn you, the rest of this will get a bit inappropriate at times. I have to preface this by letting you know that the night before surgery, Mom and I watched Django Unchained for the first time. It was a hilarious movie and we love it. However, if you haven't seen the movie, the "n-word" is used ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTEEN times throughout the movie.

 Director Quentin Tarantino took a stand on the use of the word. A stand that the actors agreed with, if you use a word enough, it becomes meaningless. Also, the use of the word wasn't exactly inaccurate for the time period in which the movie was set, but I digress.

Mom is very goodie two shoes, usually she's politically correct (even if being PC is ridiculous and annoying at times) and she is most certainly not racist. (And if you're going to say "if you have to say she's not racist, she's racist."  Shh.. No. She's my parent and I know her. Don't believe me? Ask one of my best friends who just happens to be black.  Anyway.... on with the story)

Django must have stuck with Mom because after we got going, she poked her lip some more and say "I gots dem n*gger lips."
I just looked at her and was caught between shock and laughter and said "WHAT did you say?"

To which she promptly responded with a pretty darn accurate Mush Mouth impression.

At this point, I'm cracking up. Oh...my...god.

But wait! There's more...
THEN she decides to start quoting Django with her 'perfect slave impression.' She tried (I think) to recite several of Samuel L. Jackson's lines from the movie... I couldn't understand much, but what I could understand was...interesting.


Soon though, I guess she tired of her slave impressions, and needed a cigarette. Probably not the best decision when you have a numb mouth that you insist isn't yours, but hey...what can ya do? She starts searching through her purse...digging around...shaking it a bit...then screams "COME HERE, YOU STUPID BITCH!!!"


...she was talking to her lighter.


She finally catches the "stupid bitch" and lights up her cigarette.

Now again, for this next part, I have to give a bit of back story.

I loved Land Before Time growing up. Who didn't, right? Well, one of the songs that just stuck with my mom was "Big big big big waaaterrr"

and when my mom wants to (fake) guilt me into doing something, she'll sing "bad bad bad bad dauuughter." and I'll cave.

Near the dentist's office, there's a Graeter's Ice Cream shop..on the opposite side of the road from me, and it's rush hour. Mom says "You passed up Graeter's. You're a bad daughter." I expected her to start singing like she usually does, joking around.

Oooh no.  Loopy Mom was serious. She was genuinely telling me I was a "bad daughter" for passing up Graeter's.
"You passed it. Bad daughter. You don't love me."


So of course, I go to make  a U turn at the next area...because she's starting to get more and more 'Mommy Dearest' on my butt... I just said "I hope I can make a U turn here."

She goes, "If you get pulled over, just tell them I'm on drugs and I made you."

"That's probably not the best idea, Mom."

"I'm on drugs...and I made yo--TURN HERE!"

Instantly, I turned...the wrong way...going in the Exit end of a parking lot..in front of a cop.

Lucky for me, he didn't bother coming over.


Mom was still smoking when I parked. Then it started to rain. She had her window cracked so her smoke would leave the car....then the rain started to hit her.


Remember how Lucy used to cry when Ricky wouldn't give her her way? That loud, kind of nasally 'cry?'

As soon as a few drops hit her, that was exactly what Loopy Mom did.

"AHHHHHH!!!! It's raining on meeeeeeeeeeee."

*instantly serious*

"...are you back yet?"

"Back from where, Mom?"

"Getting pastries...with bavveverien...bavevevien..bavuvilan.... Cream"

"No..no I haven't gone in yet. I'm waiting for you to finish your cigarette so we can go in and you can pick out what you want."

"Oh..ok"

She puts out the cigarette and hops out of the car. I took off after her because she was already stumbling toward the crosswalk.

Luckily the rain let up, because on the side walk ahead of us there was an old school phone booth. If you've ever seen Harry Potter, you're familiar with the kind.
She starts trying to pry it open saying "Come on!!! Let's go to the Ministry of Magic!!"

I said "Mommy...we can't" as if she were 5 "You aren't a witch or a wizard, so we can't go in."

Without missing a beat, she stamps her foot and yelled "I'M A SQUIB!"



I'm betting the old couple walking past us found that pretty amusing.

The trip into the bakery was uneventful, thank goodness, and she picked out 6 doughnuts and made it back to the car, mostly without incident. She did try to get back to the Ministry of Magic again, and cursed the Minister of Magic for locking her out.

By the time we got back in the car, it was pouring again.

Now, for some reason, some guy was jogging down the road in shorts and a tank top...in the pouring rain.

I'm not sure Mom realized that her window was down...nor am I sure she realized the guy was jogging on the sidewalk about...oh...two feet in front of our car, but she saw him and yelled out, "DUDE! IT'S RAINING! PUT A FUCKIN' UMBRELLA OVER YOUR HEAD!"

Yep.. my goodie two shoes Mom, ladies and gents.

We started back home...again...and she's happily munching her "bavuvian" cream doughnuts and I guess she caught her reflection somewhere.

She started poking her lips in the mirror again and said "Is my lip smooshy?"
*gasp* "I CAN DO A DUMB GIRL SMOOSHY MOUTH SELFIE!"

And the next 30 seconds were spent with her practicing different duckfaces.



The last big thing she did before giving in to loopy land and sleeping the rest of the way to meet my dad, was at a stoplight.

You know those people who feel the need to crank their bass and stereo so loudly that EVERYONE not only hears it but feels it? (If you do that...stop it. You're annoying... but in this one instance? Free entertainment.)

We pull up beside a guy like that in a big white SUV. His rap crap was bumpin' and thumpin' so loud that it was shaking all of the car windows.

Mom frantically starts grabbing for my phone.

"Mom, what are you doing?"

"I have to let it go?"

"Let WHAT go?" (I'm not worried my phone is about to fly out the window)

"I have to Let It GOOOOO Let it GOOO!!... turn it on and make it LOUD so boomy man can hear it!"

I didn't have the soundtrack on my phone at the time, but I had Pandora, so as fast as I could, I turned on my Frozen station.  It didn't play Let it Go (which she pouted about) but it DID play Do You Want To Build A Snowman?

Cue my mom singing "DO YOU WANNA BUILD A SNOWMANNNNNN! IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE A SNOWMANNNN" at the big white car.

Whether or not he heard her, I don't know... I wasn't brave enough to look. Oh yeah...and she rolled her windows down to do it too.

When it was over, she passed out until we got to my Dad. He drives a semi and mom woke when she heard the truck. She looked at the empty Graeter's box in the floor and looked at me suspiciously. "So! You had Graeter's without me, huh?" (she was laughing)


"No...you had those, Mom"

"I did..?"

"Yeah."

"....Oh."

Dad helped her into the truck and apparently she slept most of the time.

But not before poking him and saying these four words:

"this lip isn't mine."

"Is Our Children Learning?"

Here's one that is on a lot of people's minds lately.  Time to get it out and off of mine!

     Is education slipping?  Are our kids getting the kind of education that we received, or our parents received? What do you think?  Hmm,  I am thinking not.

     This is a post from a "niece".  This is a text from her child.  He is 14.  Notice the lack of punctuation, the misspellings, the shortened "texting" forms of words.  The spelling in this message is so awful, that it honestly took me a bit to translate it into real English.  This is not an isolated example.  This is happening more and more across our country.  

     Is the school curriculum changing, the teachers, or are our students?  The schools are not teaching cursive or script past the time when they initially teach the basic form.  Meaning, your child is no longer required to write in script past the learning stage!  Some schools do not even teach it at all!!!  They can print. badly  Handwriting is no longer stressed.  These may seem like petty things, but what happens when your child is asked for a signature and they honestly don't know what the word means, or cannot do it?  A lot of kids cannot even read script when parents write notes for them in it! REALLY!?  SMH

     Roman numerals are not taught.  This makes reading a clock or decent watch, more difficult for a child.  I remember doing this is second grade.  It was stressed!  The world does not operate on digital clocks.

                                                                    Class of...what? roflmao

     There are so many more things that are no longer taught that are important in life.  Home economics for one.  Kids do not know how to sew on a button!  They cannot iron clothing, nor stitch up a seam in an emergency.  They cannot cook simple nourishing meals because they are not taught to.  We have so many young people having babies and not being married, and they do not have the basic skills to even care for a baby, or a home, or even themselves!  

     Do not think this is just one school, or one district or lower education...get ready for this... here is a post from an ENGLISH PROFESSOR to her students about getting extra points if they complete something in addition to their normal work.

     This is not an isolated incident either!  The students complained about the horrid e-mails they were getting from their professor using words that are not words.  Things were ambiguous and they were forced to translate the text style writing into English!  Come on... These are various aged juniors in college saying their own professor needs to straighten up and write correctly!  Ya feel me teach?

     What happens when your child goes to fill out a job application?  Will they appear intelligent?  Will they be able to spell?  Can they sign their name!? 

    You may think that it truly doesn't matter. That spelling and punctuation don't matter and they're just formalities.  For one, you look less intelligent to other people; so if you're okay with appearing stupid to people outside of your small town who do have basic skills that's your prerogative.  However, I am not okay with my children typing, writing and speaking as if they have no education.

    "But but but, you know what I mean!" is the cry that resounds from some of the ones who don't care. 

After some deciphering, yes I do know what you mean.  That doesn't mean it's correct.  You could devolve to caveman speak and I'd know what you mean.  That doesn't mean you should walk around saying things like "ME LIKE THIS!"  After all, we'd know what you meant... Have you all experienced this?

    The key question here is this: Who is to blame? Is it the parents? The children? The schools?  It's a combination of all of the above. 

    As parents, you have a responsibility to educate your children and ensure that they will be fully functioning, responsible adults. It is not 100% the school's responsibility to educate and raise your child to be an effective and contributing member of society. By choosing to have a baby, you've chosen to ensure they have an enriching life; educationally, physically and of course in a recreational sense.  If you see that your child has poor handwriting, poor spelling, poor grammatical skills work on them at home.

Personal responsibility? Whaaaat?

    As for the schools, oftentimes they do the best they can. The teachers are not the ones who dictate the curriculum. The school board is in charge of that. Who votes people on to the school board?  You!  You have the power to help make decisions here.  You are not powerless.  If you have an issue with what your child is learning (or, more accurately, not learning) call the superintendent. I have seen several superintendents come and go from my children's school district and every one of them has been kind and helpful.  Classes have changed drastically since the introduction of "No Child Left Behind." Classes have been slowed down to "more realistic standards." 

"The waiver means that Ohio no longer has to meet that 100-percent proficiency goal of having all students pass state reading and math tests by 2014. Instead, Ohio can set what it sees as more realistic proficiency goals, target funds towards low performing schools, and create new assessment methods for teachers, principals, and schools." -StateImpact.org

    Basically, if the children are doing poorly, they'll lower the standards to a 'more realistic' level rather than push the students to perform better. Again, this is not the teachers' fault, they're doing what they can.  But I urge you to have your district demand better and higher educational standards for your children!  If they FAIL, they fail.  Everyone must fail in life in order to learn.  If we never fail a child then a disservice is being done to your child.  Demand a higher standard. Expect more and push your teachers, principals, school, and superintendent. If you think you don't have the time to write a letter, or make a phone call to help your child then you are also doing them a disservice.

    "If you don't like it, then home school your kids!" 

 That's so simple! Why didn't I think of that? Duh!

    Not all of us have the time required to dedicate to homeschooling.  I applaud the parents that take the education of their children in their own hands. It's not a simple undertaking. As a parent, you're expected to be a mentor, friend, chauffeur, chef, doctor, sounding board, counselor, referee, coach, educator... truly, the list goes on.  

   The parents and the schools have to work together to ensure that the students are getting the education that they need to make it in life.  If your kid tears their pants, teach them how to sew it.  If their pants need ironed, teach them how to iron them.  If your kid is hungry, teach them how to cook for themselves. (Skittles on bread for Mother's Day breakfast... but at least they tried!) they ate the banana ones too!

Provided they're old enough, of course. You probably shouldn't hand a frying pan to your five year old.

Yeah, that wouldn't be the best plan...

    So, on the off chance you find yourself making many of the same spelling mistakes your kids make (and you can't correct them if you're doing it wrong too)  here is a short list of some of the most commonly misspelled words that people have said bugs them on social media or texts.  (we ALL have mistakes)

Your - Something that belongs to you "This is your hat."

You're - You are. "You're really pretty."   "You're right."

To - Showing a motion of direction. "You need to go to the store." 

Too - An abundance of something or 'also' "I ate too much cake."  "I want a purple hat too!"

Two - 2

There - A location "Over there!"

Their - Belongs to them "That is their car, not ours."

They're - They are "They're really mad about that."

Here's one that's getting to be more and more of a problem.  Drives some of you batty! lol 

You could not "OF" done something. You would not "OF" done something.  It's couldn't HAVE or wouldn't HAVE.  You say 'of' because it sounds like "could have."

The word "of" makes no sense there.  Just because it sounds the same, does not mean it is the same.

    In the end, your child is going to be an adult going out into the world and they won't have you around to help them. It is both your responsibility and the education system's responsibility to ensure your child is well spoken, intelligent, well written, and skilled in the basic things they'll need to live a productive and successful life.  We all want that for our children right?

Raising kids is hard!

Yes it is... but as Momma used to say, "If it's worth doing, it's worth doing right!"

And please... teach your children to spell so they don't grow up to be this idiot. ROFL

  Here's the English translation:

"Huge gentle horse. - $750

You will smile when you ride on this sweet gelding. Everybody always comments on his gentleness and they love him. He is a gelding so no worries about pregnancy. He really likes when kids are on him. We use him for trails. He's 15.5 hands and 5 years old. He is (a) yellowish color. (Going to the) right home is important. Come try our boy. We can board him here too, if you'd like. Thank you."

Every italicized word is misspelled or the incorrect word.  This was posted by an ADULT trying to make a transaction.  Are you kidding me?  My sides hurt from laughing when I read this. ("Write home is empowertant" got me the most.  It took me a bit to sort that one out!) check the category this was posted in as well

Amercia... land of the free

And if anything in this post offends you, I have but one thing to say:

I have no "regerts."

Gamer RAGER Mom

     It's another day and another time to empty the cranial cavity.  So glad I have an outlet for all of these thoughts, ideas and random bits of blarney.

    Hello.  My name is Regina, and I am a gamer... HI REGINA!  I have 3 kids I game with, and also without.  I blame them for this......I am a victim, a victim I tell you!  No, just kidding. (maybe)  I have always liked video games.  I was not very good at most of them, but loved them anyway.  I grew up in the era of gaming.  Pong, to Pac Man, to Mario and more.  I love most types of games, but my favorite are RPG or Role Playing Games.

     I like to play them online with live people.  Most of the time I don't tell anyone I am old enough to be their mom, since it freaks them out.  I play with my kids a lot and by myself late at night.  Either way, I come across a heck of a lot of gamer rage.  For those not familiar with this... here is a little peek...

     A girl gamer has problems.  She gets trolled.  For those not familiar with this term it means they will hit on you in juvenile disgusting ways, or make fun of you by saying girls cannot game.  You learn quickly to mute a troll or it is guaranteed to cause you to rage.  I can't tell you how many times I have seen this phrase written to me, my daughter or another fellow female gamer, "Woman!  Git back in that kitchen and make me a sammich" 

             When you find a fellow female gamer, you friend them! (nice alliteration there, Gina :-P)  

     I try to look for people who are a bit more mature and then tell them not only am I a female, but a mom.  An older mom. GASP... (you can actually hear this in your head when you tell them.)  There is always a big pause.  Then you usually get one of two reactions.  "COOL!  Wish my mom would play with me!" (which makes you feel good about yourself for playing with your own kids)  And then there is this reaction, "Whoa! REALLY ?  A girl plays this and she's a mom! Like an OLDER mom!"

     As a gaming mom I had to learn a whole new vocabulary!  Words like noob, pug, rager, QQ, QQ'er, troll and other magical words!  Never say you can't teach an old dog new tricks, cause this bitch learned a whole new language!

     Have I ever raged during a game?  Ummmm weeeeeeell, maybe.....okay yes, yes I rage.  You can get so caught up in fighting with your team, that when someone does a completely noob thing it makes you mad! They might cost you the game! (noob is a new person to the game or gaming)  So yes, I have hollered, cussed, tossed my mouse in frustration and raged.  This is one of the reasons I do not get on Skype when I play. (must maintain that motherly ladylike decorum you know)

(noobs always focus the tank in a team fight...sigh)

     My husband knows when I am playing because apparently I do something odd with my feet while fighting.  He will then say, "It's okay baby, calm down...you won't stay dead forever.  Your little person will come back, just watch... see?  There you are!"  The screen darkens when you are "dead", and he will also pass by and say, "watching another black and white movie I see". (grrrrrrrr) lol

     If you would like to game with your kids, I wholeheartedly suggest it!  I have done the 4-H and cheerleading, band, choir, brownies, parades, floats etc.  This is completely different and is still a great way to spend time with your kids, see what kind of modern electronics appeal to them, and keep an eye on what they are doing and whom they are doing it with! It keeps you current.

     I don't say that raging is right, nor does it accomplish anything. (other than to possibly damage your mouse or keyboard with the banging)   I try to teach my kids to stay calm, to be kind to the noobs, and to think before they commit to an action in game that can affect their team or the outcome.  I use gaming as a teaching method for dealing with people of all walks of life and all ages. I try to teach good sportsmanship, tolerance, spelling and grammar skills as well. (they just have no clue I am doing it)

     When I win, I win with grace and dignity...no really.... I do...(roflmao)

       Hope this made you laugh, and if you want to game with me... give me a shout!  Have a great day!

     

Politically Correct

Hi all... it's another day in my head.  Time to empty out the thoughts and ideas before it explodes!
Today I am pondering if there is such a thing as TOO politically correct.

     So as a lot of people know, and for those of you who do not... I am short.  I've always been short.  There are many ways of saying this.  Tiny, petite, small, little etc.  If someone tells me I am short I feel like I should say, "Good Job!! Yay... you have 20/20 vision yaaaaaaay."

  lol  Then I could jump up and give them a high five and miss since I cannot reach their hand because I am short!  I am not offended because, get this... I am short!

     When I was young, (note I didn't say little lol) I couldn't reach the cabinets to get glasses, bowls, plates etc.  So I climbed them!  Now that I am older I still cannot reach the cabinets, but because of arthritic knees I can't climb anymore. I found a solution... I had a son!  (step stools are great but dangerous or annoying because you have to move them constantly or find place to store them)
     In school people used my head for an arm rest walking down the hallways.  It annoyed me but I wasn't really offended.  Kids would ask, "how's the weather doing down there?"  You hear that so many times and all you can think is (that is so not original, or is that the best you've got?).
     As a baby I wore baby doll clothes my mom made from McCall's dress patterns.  As an adult the pants drag the ground so much I have holes in them so I am automatically cool and in style with the teens! lol  As a child I got hand me downs from my brothers, and now I get them from my kids! (still savin' and not offended)
     As an adult the kids measured their growth spurts against me. (they all passed me up by the age of 11).
     Going furniture shopping is fun!  I get to sit on the furniture and let my legs stick straight out or dangle uselessly in the air!  Wheeeeeee!

     Two years ago for Christmas, my mom and cousin gave me a pretty white rocker for my front porch.  I loved it!  I hopped up there... and then the room erupted in laughter.  I couldn't push against the floor to rock as my legs didn't reach!  Well it was funny, and I was not offended.  I learned as a child how to rock and swing without having to touch the ground. Easy Peasy...
     Today my daughter witnessed something that shocked me.  A woman, who is short, was so offended at being referred to as short, she lashed out claiming the person should have been politically correct!  She WANTS people to call her diminutive in stature, vertically challenged, height unrealized?  COME ON!  lol
     Short is short.  There is nothing wrong with it!  People who see (visually lucky?), tend to describe what they see with the best or most descriptive words possible.  If I see a bald man I am going to say bald man, not  follicly  challenged.  My friend, who is blind, is not sight challenged, or visually impaired.  I think those terms imply something negative like they are less than normal.  When my kids build a snowman it is not a snow person.  I don't think they need to make it anatomically correct for you to understand what it is or is not!
     There is nothing ambiguous about short, whereas saying "a person of color" is!  I don't know if they are Indian, Asian, black, etc.  I have friends and family who are gay, black, blind, deaf, short, fat, tall, hairy, blonde, freckled, missing a limb  etc.  Now by my description above, you can imagine them to a point.  If more description is needed, I will fill it in.  By making my description ambiguous it muddies the image I am trying to achieve.
     I am not saying that there are not offensive words out there, certainly there are, but do we now go too far in attempting to not offend someone?  If I call my friend fatty fatty two by four can't get through the bathroom door...that is offensive!  Shouldn't we just rely on most of the people to not purposefully offend rather than assume everyone will?  We need to create special phrasing?
     I am not white. I am a peachy pink ivory color, but I don't demand someone try to describe me that way.  My black friends would crack up if I referred to them as caramel mocha with a drop of cream.  Hey wait.. that sounds delicious, maybe they would want that?!

     I can see that some forms or descriptions need to be addressed, but hey people let's not take it so far that it is ridiculous!  I mean it's not like there is an online dictionary of politically correct words... oh wait, there are several!  (see the links at the bottom)
     Who is to say that the "new" politically correct terms won't be offensive in 20 years?  This is a hot topic in that there are many young people today referring to themselves, and others, as retarded.  Not cool and pretty offensive.  Many years ago this term was normal.  It was spoken clinically by doctors to mean something completely different than how it does today.  This just goes to show how words can develop over time from one meaning to the next and to evolve into an offensive term.
   
I hereby demand to be called a munchkin-American!

     I leave you with these politically correct dictionary websites!  They are a great read and good for a belly laugh.  Have a great day all! :-)

A small glimpse into our crazy or mentally challenged thinking.

Check this link for all of your P.C. needs!

Haircuts from Hades

So today starts the first post in my world of blogs.  Sometimes I just get so full up of things to say I feel the need to write them down.  I am bursting with topics I feel so passionate about and this will be my way of telling the world....so... hang on world... here goes.

     We all have hair, and all need to get them trimmed, cut, dyed, permed, curled or straightened.  Whatever it is that you wish to do to your hair is totally up to you.  Or is it...dun..dun..duuuuunnn...

     Today my son went to get his hair cut.  He is 17.  He'd been letting it grow out pretty long in order to get a specific style cut in.  He is in a musical at school and needs to look "surfer-ish".  The dress rehearsal is tonight so they are awaiting his perfect cut for the musical.  
     I send him to the stylist to get a haircut like Peeta, from Hunger Games.  I send a phone with pictures of several looks for the same haircut, so there could be no mistake.  I send my 24 year old daughter to supervise. We choose the most experienced looking stylist!  I feel I've got this thing in hand.  Nothing can go wrong. 
      The picture is shown.  The stylist says, "sure I can do that easily".  When asked if she wants the phone left with the picture on it (to refer to of course), she declines saying, "No... I've got it!"
     You can guess what happened the second she was left unattended.  She got out her trusty dusty clippers and ZIIIIP  straight up the back of my son's head. My daughter glances up to see the clippers in action.  It looks like a scene straight from Edward Scissorhands with hair flying everywhere!  The only thing lacking is the great Vincent Price to complete the scenario.

     My daughter is texting me frantically while racing back to the stylist's chair.  Too late.  When the dust clears and the last hair settles, my son looks nothing like Peeta, not even like a surfer dude, not even like a clean cut boy next door with layered locks.  It has been buzzed.  The back of his head looked like he was going into the Army.
     Why is it that everyone wants to make my beautiful son look like a Hitler Youth?  I feel like he should step out and thrust his arm up shouting, "Sieg Heil!"  With his blonde hair and blue eyes, and now his buzzed head, he definitely could get a role in a production of Hitler's Youth: The Real Story.

                                               (Note the lack of hair on the back and sides.)
     Needless to say my tirade over the phone to the manager resulted in a soft and lackadaisical, "oh, sorry."  Then it was followed by, "well... we can't glue the hair back on...".  REALLY?  I wanted to know WHY that stylist performed a hack job that rivaled the woodcarvers at the county fair, and my son looking like a bald eagle.  She was told how important this cut was, and given everything she needed to cut that  feathered and layered look, which could quickly be styled into a G.Q. look.  There was not a single buzzed tress in that picture.
     I asked my son why he didn't say anything.  He replied, "well, once she buzzed that first stripe, what could I say?!"
     I don't know what it is around here, that when a teenage male walks in and asks for a cut, he gets a buzz.  He doesn't chew t'baccy and sport bib overalls.  He isn't named Bubba and has all of his teeth.  He isn't Eminem and walking in with tats, bling, and a hitch in his stride.  He supports cancer survivors by wearing pink and running marathons in a tutu, not by shaving his head.  What makes a stylist decide to do whatever haircut she wants, regardless of what the client asks for?  
     This is not an isolated incident.  This is the 4th time this has happened!  It didn't matter if I was standing there or sitting in the waiting area.  It didn't matter if I took him, my husband, or my daughter.  Different stylists each time and the same result.
     My husband goes to the same salon, and has never been given a buzz.  I tell them what haircut I want, and it is done.  My son sits in the chair and the clippers come out the second I turn my back.  Normally I bitch and move on.  This haircut was important and if she couldn't do the haircut she should have said so, and then given him to someone who could, rather than do the easiest thing to make money!  
    Apparently out here in the country, surfer dude = buzzed Nazi youth or Bubba Buzz!

  






This is the picture we showed her.  It is Peeta, from Hunger Games.  Note the hair that is all over his head!

     

(Per your requests...)  This is my son BEFORE the haircut.  Note the long shaggy hair that he has been growing in order to get it all grown out for "surfer dude".  This was about 2 months ago, so it was even longer.  It's tucked into his shirt at the back and hung down to the bottom of his eyes.
      

The front is a little short to pull off the surfer wet look pictured above.  It's the back and sides that were buzzed so short you cannot even comb or brush them.  Here is a pic of the back.

She stopped buzzing when it got to the top, as my daughter stopped her, or the top would have been buzzed too.  He has VERY thick hair and it may look like there is a lot, but trust me.. it is all so short I moved my hand through it and it didn't move!